Weblog

Monday, 14 April 2008

  • idk

                                                

    You pull back your curtains
    and the sun burns into your eyes.
    you watch a plane flying across a clear blue sky.
    this is the day your life will surely change.
    this is the day when things fall into place.

                                                  

    it's your finger and how i'm wrapped around it.
    it's your grace and how it keeps me grounded.
    i know that you're weak, just let me sing you to sleep. – The Spill Canvas

                                                                           

                     " Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. " -Peanuts

                                                                            

    There's a difference between fear and a bad feeling.

    If you're afraid to love a boy; close your eyes,

    step off the edge, and dive head first into love.

    But if you have a bad feeling about loving a boy,

    and it's deep in the core of your gut, making it

    hard to breathe and unbearably uncomfortable;

    protect your heart with everything you have.

                                                                        - Chloe Higashida

                                                

                               PEACE comes from being able to contribute the best that we have,

                      and all that we are, toward creating a world that supports everyone. but it is

                            also securing the space for OTHERS to contribute the best that they

                                                                have and all that they are

                                                                     ++hafsat abiola

                                              

Saturday, 12 April 2008

Monday, 17 March 2008

  • rewind<<pause.

    i'm back.

    i'm not used to this xanga thing anymore.. took a pretty long vacay from it and now i don't really understand, but i'm learning.

    so..update on me.

    i'm ok...ryan and i are.....not together anymore. I'm thinking it's permanent. i found this quote "Turn the page on him. Leave him behind..in the past. Turn the page, but don't close the book." So should i turn the page? i had another option, but turned it down. i'm still not sure if that was the best decision, but who's ever sure of every decision? no one. I don't want to close the book, i'd like to just turn the page. But i've already seen how it ends.. so why keep reading? idk. i think i'm gonna close the book.. It feels like closing time.

    i may go to washington this summer.

    i skipped school today.......with permission......but still. it felt good.

    i've found a butt load of icons i want to put on.. so i will soon.

    i found my fairytale in him.. with him. even wrote a song about it and two days later he walked away. maybe the fairytale thing isn't for me, but i think i'm still a princess.. so hey mr.prince charming..bring me back my shoe.

    <3 mantha

Monday, 01 January 2007

  • ah.. a look into my oh so confusing heart and mind.

    Do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile, and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time, you don't know exactly what is wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting... and being alone never was. At least when you're alone no one constantly asks you what is wrong and there isn’t anyone who wont take “I don’t know” for an answer. You feel the way you do just because you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait...

    Go ahead and tell your friends that I’m obsessive and crazy, I’ll tell mine you`re gay.

    singing in a car full of your close friends,
    laughing & smiling and having the best time of
    your life. with the windows down & the moon
    shining bright. now these are the nights that i live for.

    ***Louisiana! I love you Francey and Mags!!***

    she needs a getaway
    a reason to drive far away from here
    she's memorized all the roads
    and all the people she'd rather leave behind

    && she's scared because
    suddenly it's so clear
    how much he really
    means to her<3

    you ask me why it's so hard for me to trust you,
    & so i ask so... why is it so hard to     keep a promise

    **you should know who you are when you read this.. if you don't, you're just stupid.**

    everyone says love hurts...
    when actually, love doesn't hurt.
    love didn't leave you for some other girl.
    it didn't cheat on you,
    nor did it break your heart.
    so stop blaming love for once
    & start blaming the donkey
    that treated you like crap & gave you up.
    ***exactly!!!***

    & you know what hurts more than
    anything? knowing that i want to     be
    with you     & knowing that you     feel the
    same     but also knowing it will never work out.

    **sigh**

    It’s like we’re more than
    friends but less than lovers

    I'm standing on a line between giving up
    and seeing how much more I can take

    don't kid yourself, babe
    the boy loves you in a way
    that he's not ready to deal with <3.......................i wish.

    For every girl with a broken heart, there is a boy with a glue gun

    The more you get to know a person,
    the more attractive they become to you.
    Because everything beautiful you see on
    the inside of them, suddenly you're able
    to see on the outside of them too.

    **and that's why he's the most gorgeous guy i know.**

     

    Ahh.. you guys that read this stuff... you are my favorites.

Tuesday, 07 November 2006

  • Letting off steam i've been holding in.

    Well.. here's a little something i wrote for a journal entry in class..

    I hate that everything reminds me of you. I hate that it's taken me this long to realize how strong your hold was on me. Now that i've taken a few steps back, i'm realizing how much you controlled me-everything i thought, said, and did. I've been telling myself that the world brainwashed me, but no. YOU brainwashed me. Everything i believed in, everything i believed to perfect, right, and true, was all lies. It was never real life. You picked me up and slammed me into your world. You made sure that we were the only ones inside and that no one could break through your over protective shield and into our world. OUR world. Well, now it's just me, and i have no world. I'm trying to make a new one, using pieces from my old one, but they're broken. They are broken because i pushed them away all becasue they couldn't fit into OUR world. I've tried to repair those pieces becasue i know that without them my world will fall apart all over again. But in the end, even after i've memded all the broken pieces that i PERSONALLY slammed against the wall, there will still be one piece missing and that piece is me. I hate that i let you change me to the point that i can't even fit into my own world anymore. I hate that i let you break me with every word you screamed at me. I hate that i let you control me. I hate you. But most of all, i hate that everything reminds me of you.

     

    I wrote this a while back and i just got up the courage to post it up here.. but putting that aside, i have a few other things on my mind.

    Someone said to me "you have a bad attitude about everything"

    No, i do not have a bad attitude about everything, but yes i do have a bad attitude about certain things and right now i believe i have a right to. I do not want people to pity me. I don't need pity. I'm actually moving along quite well.. a lot better than i ever thought i would, but it's those little comments, those little constant reminders of my mistakes that bring me down and put me back in my place-that place being broken into pieces at the bottom of the highest mountain i've ever been on. I hate that almost every good day i have, ends bad.. i love that every day that begins bad, ends good because of you. I'm beginning to realize that some people aren't who i thought they were. I put them up on this high pedastool (sp?) but i'm realizing that's not who they really are, but at the same time i'm beginning to realize just how amazing some people are and how thankful i am to have them in my life. Ex. My mom and sister, i just realized that they're here for me and on my side no matter what and i feel pretty horrible for the way i've treated them. I'm kind of ranting ramdomly as thoughts pop into my head but i don't care. I don't even care if you stopped reading this a long time ago because i'm not writing this for you to read it, i'm writing this for me.

    If you choose to message me, that's great. If you don't then i get the message.

mantha_hearts_you

  • Visit mantha_hearts_you's Xanga Site
    • Name: Samantha
    • Birthday: 11/5/1990
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 3/27/2006

Weblog Archives

Don't worry - your calendar is here… to see it in action just click "Save" above and refresh the page.

Pulse

mantha_hearts_you has no pulse!...